Anxious Excitement

Well I am anxious....in a good way. Tommorow....Saturday....is the big day for my procedure. I have been getting shots and going down to Syracuse for 2 and half weeks, all in preperation for this day. And anyone who doesn't know, Syracuse is like a 2 and half hour drive for me. So imagine that 5 times within the last 2 weeks plus all the shots!!! Anyways, Saturday morning at 7:30Am I will have my procedure, so please pray!!! I could possibly be pregnant anytime between Saturday evening and Sunday. I won't know for until two weeks after that, which I will have to go get a blood test, because with all the hormones I am on they will give me a false positive pregnancy test.
So yesterday was the day I got the magic day told to me, but it was also a day of complete fun with my buddy Heather. She came with me and let's just say we are on more intimate terms since she went in with me to the docs.....she only saw my ultrasound though....nothing more!!!! Anyways after that we got to visit beautiful smiling Heidi....Heather's sis.....at her work office. So we got to see where she blogs from!!!! And then we went to this shop called the Christmas Tree Shop....which has nothing to do with Christmas so I don't know why it is named so....but it has like everything there and the prices are cheap!!! I paid .39 cents for a doggie dish!!! And after that we went to my mother-in-law's hair shop where I tried to talk Miss Heather into a new do. After an hour of compromise we both finally agreed to take the plunge, as long as each of us got an equally drastic cut. Hey Heather, we never did shake on it, so you could have got out of it!!!! Anyways, I have been growing my hair out for 2 years, and I guess I wasn't happy with the results.....it is now a lovely chin length with a very flapperesque feel to it. I am hoping to learn to post pix soon. I won't give away Heather's hair style but she looks absolutely fantastic!!! I am glad we talked eachother into it!!!! My hair also can look very professional for the nursing field. I don't quite look like I am twelve anymore!!! LOL!!! But I can punk it too which is nice because I like that option as I am a punk rock chick. Anyways I will end here. Please pray for me Saturday!!!!!

Scrubs

So today I had my first experience with buying scrubs......and man am I going to look horrible. There's not too much opportunity to look "hot," in the land of scrubs. I mean, I can pay a lot of money to try to get some Strawberry Shortcake ones or Curious George or Snoopy, and I prolly will eventually. But today with the limited budget, I purchases some $9.99 a piece generic prints. Maybe if Heather shows me how to put photos up I will take a picture of myself in these said scrubs and you can all see how Nurse Aide Kathy will look. Today I was fingerprinted, and no I did not do anything wrong!!! I had to be for the job. It felt so CSI....or maybe NYPD Blue.....I only watch CSI though so that's all I can compare. But there they actually only lift the prints, they don't print people so much do they....anyways that was a little bunny trail to chase in the middle of my writing!!! So I also had a tuberculosis test. And then I went and got my allergy shots. And then tonight I will give myself my two other shots.....yes I have been giving them to myself now......so anyways that is a total of FIVE needles going into my body today. I am getting quite used to it. Tommorow they will take blood and then I will do my two shots. So tommorow we are down to THREE needles.....not too bad. So all in all after sleeping only 3 and half hours last night....I got up, did the whole physical exam thing with the tuberculosis test and the fingerprinting, drove to Watertown, got my scrubs, got some nice new dressier pants to where to nursing classes, got nursing sneaks(only $12.99 at Payless,) got lunch, went and got allergy shots......came home, walked my Chihuahua Roxy about 2 miles, and now I am going to make a salad for a cell leaders dinner tonight at church. All in all what you would say a busy, and yet prosperous day!!!! Hope you all enjoyed another episode of the Lifestyles of the Not So Rich and Definitely Not Famous, Kat Owens.........

New Stage

Well it seems as if God is drawing me into a new stage of life. I am slightly scared because it means learning something new. I am going to be a nurses aide in the nursing home. I have never thought particularly about doing this kind of work, and frankly I am a bit scared to start....but I have always wanted to do something with the elderly and I know that it is just my insecurity of starting a new job...I never think I will be good at anything. Anyways I had an interview and she talked to me from the very beginning like I had the job. They will pay for my text and classes, and they will pay for me to sit there and learn. After I work there for a year I have the chance to get a scholarship to become an LPN and then a RN. I think I will try for a year and see how it works out. After all, it's a only a year. Not really long if you think about it. I don't know where book writing is going to fit into all this, but I know God is helping me along with that one at His pace. I know this is going to be a tough job, but obviously God has given me this appreciation for the elderly for a reason. I am not knocking my age group, but let's face it....how many people who are 26 actually enjoy conversations with 90 year olds?? I do.....but others find themselves uncomfortable around older folks.
Well onto the docs.....had another ultrasound today and blood work again....I guess this will be the norm until things progress to the point where I can have my procedure done. I am trying not to go into too much detail here because I don't want to offend anyone with it....but this is what my reality is right now so it's hard not to vent. I am trying not to be graphic or anything. Anyways...the nurse who did my ultrasound talked to me about the posibility of multiples today. She casually made the remark that if too many embryos form, they will go in and "eliminate," some. I said, "Not with me you won't." She was a little taken aback and told me all these risks, etc....I said that was fine, but I wouldn't eliminate a child. So if I end up with a litter I end up with a litter!!! God knows what He's doing, and I know He won't make me go through anything that's not part of his plan.
I did not tell the lady that interviewed me for the nursing home, about trying to get pregnant. So today I found out that this thing of being on hormones will not be like a normal month, it will be until everything is ready within me to recieve the final treatment. So it's all going to depend on my body's natural reaction to the drugs......in short it means that it will take longer than I thought...I will keep having to drive two hours, twice a week, to get blood drawn and ultrasounds. And then when I am ready they will do the procedure. So when I found this out today I was like, "Great, I won't be able to do the nurses aide thing." So I called the lady and told her my dilemma, and you know what?? She was very supportive. She told me we could definitely work around it. I asked her if she thought I should wait until they do this training again and she told me that she thought I should start now and she would definitely work with me on when I need to go to the docs. She didn't even seem worried that I was trying to get pregnant, as some employers do because they don't want to pay maternity leave. So anyways her kindness and willingness to work with me, led me to believe it was a sign from God that this was the right decision...starting this job. So I guess with all I will take it one day at a time and just trust in Him. It's always scary taking the first step....but maybe the other side of this mountain is just around the corner;)

Life

Edit:I sent out a resume to a training program to become a nurses aide in the nursing home in a town about 20 minutes from here.....I sent out a letter and my resume yesterday....yesterday mind you....and they called me today!!! They want me to come in tommorow to fill out an application and have an interview!!! So things are looking up already....pray for me to get accepted if this is God's next step for me!!!

Well life right now is odd. I am not babysitting, I need to look for a job. It's really weird. I miss the kids a whole lot, although I got to see them a bit yesterday. They seem to grow each time I see them and it has only been a week today that I saw them last, not counting yesterday, the brief moments I saw them. I didn't get to hold Aidan, and I doubt he'll come to me anymore because he won't get to see me so much. Oh well, such is life.
My doctor's appointment on Monday went well. Things are good so far. Tim had his first chance to shoot me up last night. Two shots in the abdomen. Not too bad. He's no nurse though. But he did okay. Friday I go back to see how things are progressing and find out when I will have my procedure done. And hopefully this month will be it. Hopefully we won't have to do it again next month.
I have been getting migraines since last week. I don't understand it. Maybe it's stress I don't know. I feel down a lot lately, but not just cuz of the baby thing, there are a myriad of other things going on. It seems like every time things seem to be going well you get hit with one disaster or another. I know I will get through, it's just tough when you can't see the other side, as I am sure you can all relate. Prayer is the only way through right now. That and trusting that God is going to work it all out. Hopefully the other side comes soon though...........

Tommorow

So Tommorow is the big day. The day I start my hormone therapy. Or at least start the process of starting it. I am not sure if I will be getting actual shots tommorow or not, but I have to drive to Syracuse to have some tests done and I will know more then. So please keep me in your prayers!!!
So random thought. Is anyone else highly annoyed with word verification??? I mean I know it serves its purpose and all but geesh!!! I swear those little letters get longer each time I go to leave a comment. It's like they purposely want to see how bad you want to leave a comment. You're lucky I love you all enough to endure those annoying word verifications!!! Well not much else is really new. Except I am looking for work. I guess that's a piece of information I haven't shared yet. I need a job. Other than that nothing new. That's a big enough new one though I guess. I won't go into details cuz I don't believe in that, but things just aren't good in that area. So you can pray for me to find a good job with the right hours too!!!!
Well my pizza is done so I will go....Elyse if your reading this, please, please, please start a blog so I can comment back to you. When I click on your name there isn't anything there!!!!

Good Day Sunshine

I keep hearing that song by the Beatles in my head....Good day Sunshine, or Here Comes the Sun, also by the Beatles....for right now there is glorious sunshine filtering through my window. I am not sure how long it will last or how warm it is outside, but I will take it!!! Tim is home today after a very long night shooting car commercials. We are going to get a new car today. Things are starting to go on ours so we are trading it in before any disaster can strike. We will be paying the same ammount each month so there is no financial worries with getting a new car. Our miles were getting kinda high too, so we needed to get full trade value while we can.
I am slightly nervous.....Tim brought home all my medication they are putting me in, and lets just say needles, needles, needles. Like three or four a day, for I am not sure how long. I won't know until the doctor tells me to start. I am not scared of needles, I have been poked and prodded for various things all my life....I am a little scared of raging hormones!!! I told Tim he is just going to have to keep in mind that if I am like one who flys on broomsticks, that he'll have to cut me some slack!!! If it brings the results in the end it will all be worth it though.
So the sunshine feels good. It makes me feel less sad about some of the things I am going through. It feels like God himself is shining down on me, which he is whether the sun is shining or not......Today is my niece Kendal's birthday. I wish I could be there to give her a big hug and kiss. Oh well.....................Happy St. Patty's Day if your into that!!!!

Breakthrough

So I have heard this word a lot, breakthrough. In church, by my own pastor, and by prophets and teachers all around the world. This is the year for the church, the year of breakthrough, the year that will top any year we have ever known in our existance. Miracles are coming, salvations are coming, and worldwide changes are coming. Do I believe this? In the words of Napoleon Dynamite....Heck Yes I DO!!!! I believe it. And I also believe that's why so many people I know, including myself, are under such an attack. Because the enemy would like us not to push forward. He wants to cripple us so that we won't move forward. Why? Because he's scared. Because he feels it too...the sense of something big about to happen. But I won't do it. I won't be crippled. I have lived through a lot in my short life. Pain and things that no one would ever even imagine. Things that have tried to cripple, and bring destruction, and rob my life or my family or my church. And the harder the wind blows against me, the more I want to stand against it. To resist it's force, to overcome. In the tornado of attacks, I will be in the center of the eye, standing firm with my Savior. For the word says that no weapon formed against me shall prosper, and I believe it. My God has never let me down. He has never failed me. He is victorious, He has already won the battle, it belongs to Him. When darkness comes in like a flood, the battle belongs to the Lord. I am standing firm on this. I encourage you all to stand strong, to not let the things of this world overcome you. For we are overcomers through Him. I lean on the strength of my Lord to get me through.........

Serving God In the Hard Times

Well don't speak on serving God in the hard times unless you want a first hand lesson in it. I learned that the hard way. Yesterday was not a good day. Just not a good day at all. Some circumstances have left me with a "hard time." But I know that I will get through it. I know it's just Satan trying to stop me from being all I can be in the kingdom of God. And you know what? It's not going to work. It's laughable to me really. Every time the enemy attacks, I know it means I must be pushing forward, and reaching a new level in Christ. So why be upset?? I know my God has got my back. Whatever the circumstance I will rise, Victorious. Period. So why worry? As hard as it is to go through things that seem to be impossible situations, I know I can get through it. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
On another note, I am hoping to start my fertility treatment this month, which means I could get pregnant soon!!! That is something to look forward to and pray about....I was hoping I wouldn't need to get all the drugs, etc. but I have to trust that God is in this with me. As much as I don't want to have to use those kinds of things to have a baby, I know that the real miracle is when God fuses that dna together, and not how it got fused. So either way it will be a miracle straight from Him to me and Tim.
Well I am off.....and I am still victorious!!!

AHHH SUNDAY!!!

So church worship was really good this morning. I am glad to see people are learning to give worship to God and not just expect Him to move without us bringing any effort. I don't know about the sermon however because I had nursery!!! All three of my charges were my family. My nephews Mateo and Aidan and my niece Kiersten. They were all so good!!! After church I had my Mom and Dad over for dinner here for once, since I always eat at Mom's on Sundays. It was more their insistance than mine!!! But I really needed to have them. I wished my sister could have came but she took off before I could ask her. Oh well......anyways I actually got to take a nap after they left!!! I rarely ever nap in the day, even if I am sheer exhausted, but this one felt good. As a matter of fact I probably could have slept until tommorow. I haven't been sleeping real well, so it was refreshing. Since I didn't get to work on my book at all this week I am going to try to right now. My sixth grade teacher, Mr. O'Bryan, gave me the advice to do a little at a time, whenever I can. He was one of those rare teachers, he really believed in me. I corresponded with him up until his death a couple years back. I plan on dedicating my first book to him. We are doing the teaching, "Drawing Near," by John Bevere in Sunday school at church, and John said something this morning that was cool. He said when God told him to write, he first thought, why me, I hate writing, etc. And then when he realized the great wealth of things God was speaking through him, he was in awe. He made the statement that he knew it wasn't him that wrote the books, it was the Holy Spirit working through him, and he was just the first person to get to read them!!! That's kind of how I feel about my book. I know that God wants me to write it, I know it is material straight from him, and I know it's going to touch young people. I'm just the first to read it....and man am I excited. I just wish I could type it fast enough, it's all in my head, I just have to get it down!!!
I will end with some prayers requests again, because I know you, my friends, will pray for these things...Baby Anna Schilling-kidney cancer, Lynn Cool- a miracle....cancer, Jena and Tim Cline-He's in Iraq in one of the most dangerous parts, and my friend Angela, whom I met at Sears. She's a beautiful and sweet Texas Blonde!!! She's had some severe migraines that are causing seizures and other health problems. And lastly my friends Heather and Andre, safety, and that he won't get deployed the second they move up here.....MY BEST FRIEND IS MOVING BACK NEAR ME!!!!! I am so excited!!! Well thanks all for your prayers. I hope you all have a great day...what's left of it!!!!

Luncheon

Well I just got home from speaking at our women's luncheon at church, which I think went very well. I spoke on "Serving God in the Hard Times." I think people enjoyed it. We had three visitors as well as one of our church members daughter, Jennifer and her cute little darling baby girl Riley. Which happens to be Heather's niece, so I am sure she will amen that comment!! Three visitors are very good for us. We are kind of out in the middle of nowhere and it's hard to get people in the community to come. We are really persuing breakthrough for our church this year. We really believe that God is going to do something explosive in this area.
Tim and I are going to look at a car and then going out on a date. I wish we had more time, but oh well. Time seems to be a pretty expensive commodity right now. Life is just busy, busy, busy. I thought with having an extra two days off a week that I would have it made, but it just seems that other things come up that need attending. I need a vacation so I don't suffer burnout, LOL!! Tim's Dad and stepmom Laurie just built a house in Florida, so if we get Tickets, I think we could go!!! That would be so great!!! I need it!!! For some reason I have not been sleeping well or at all lately. I am talking 3-4Am some nights. I don't know why, I haven't suffered insomnia in years. Maybe it's from getting off of zoloft, who knows. Right now I am pretty tired, but tonight who knows?? Oh well, sleep will come sometime, it's inevitable. I once saw a documentary on a man who suffered a disease where he never slept at all, I mean not even a wink. He went from being full of life to becoming a literal zombie, and eventually dieing, because his body just couldn't process anything. It was really weird. I don't think I will get that bad however!!! Anyways I guess these are pretty choppy ramblings so I will go. God Bless!!!

Random List

I am going to copy Heather and Jackie......

Things I am loving
My Lord
My husband, dog and cat, house, cars
Friends
That my house is clean!!!

Things I am hating
People's constant drama
Celebrities...uggghhh
That I am the one who actually has to clean the house....another ugghhh

So that's about it, not much excitement. Please keep my friends Tim and Jena Cline in prayer...the soldier I wrote about before. He was hit again and this time he blew an eardrum, got a concussion, and shrapnel over the eye and in his leg....please, please, pray for them. There is also Lynn Cool who needs a miracle over cancer and baby Anna Schilling who has kidney cancer. I put these up here because I know there is power in prayer...I appreciate you all praying!!!!

Break

I am taking a very quick break as my sister is paying me to clean today, so I have been busy, busy, busy all day, on top of the two little ones. Aidan is sick with croup...however you spell that....and sounds pretty awful in his chest....please pray for the little angel. Both are down for a nap right now, so that aspect is good.
Well this weekend was busy. Heather and Courtney and I went to Jackie's Friday night to watch Pride and Prejudice. I liked it pretty well, but have never read the book or seen the other movie. I guess that one is better according to the people at Jackie's. But it was fun and a good flick. Saturday our church cell leaders, including myself and Tim, took my parents out for their birthdays. We were supposed to do it a few weeks ago, but the power outage prevented it. For anyone who doesn't know, my parents pastor a church in South Edwards, NY....so my dad is my and Tim's pastor. It was a nice little dinner.
I do have a praise report....our bank sent us a check for $503 saying that we payed too much into our escrow account for our house payments....and they lowered our house payment by almost $50 for each month this year!!! So like I said in my last post...even though I worry about money I know God will provide. That money, combined with a check Tim's cousin sent us for taping her wedding, is almost the exact ammount of the taxes we have to pay in....God is so good!!! He always provides!!!
My husband is starting a business so please pray for that...he does video production, with this business he can do weddings, and various projects, on the side. He is becoming pretty respected in Watertown by those he has dealt with in his video production thus far, and I know that God is opening a door for us. Our friend Rjay said that God showed him a vision of Tim and I writing out huge check ammounts to charities and other things like that out of our own pocket because God was going to give us such a wealth. I believe it, I believe this is really the beginning of a flowing of blessing for us and our church. Not that God hasn't blessed us because He certainly has...but I believe this is going to be something beyond our expectations!!!! Well my little break needs to be over, I need to get crackin!!!!

My Cat Talks

Yes I am not lieing....my cat has been speaking. I thought it was a flook the first time, but it is happening continually. Last night I was sitting in this very chair, showing my hubby something on the computer, and my cat walked over to me and put his front paws up on me and meowed "mama." Not kidding. It was like Maw-ma. And then this morning I got up and started petting him and walked into the kitchen. He followed me and rubbed up against me. I was getting my coffee, so I was ignoring him, and he kept meowing...."ma, ma, ma." Different from every other meow I have ever heard him do. My husband just happened to be on the phone so he heard it today too. Well if I haven't had a baby yet, at least I have a cat who says Mama, lol!!!!
My sinuses hurt. I am praying no infection as I have already been on antibiotics for about 10 different things this year and don't need to grow immune to them!!
You ever notice when you are praying for breakthrough in an area it seems that the exact opposite happens at first. Since January my Dad has been preaching on what it takes to break through. One thing we as a church have wanted breakthrough with is finances. Since then Tim and I have had all these things come up.....the tax thing where we owe the government $700, over $1,000 for fuel oil so far this year, and now my car's fuel injector quit working so we have to pay $300 for that. And of course we are still trying to figure out how to pay the tax thing. Tim says he's going to sell one of his rare pieces of musical equipment, but I feel bad because it was one he wanted for a long time, and we were blessed to have the money so he could get it, a few years back. Anyways....I am praying God will make another way. He always provides. We recieved unexpected money a couple of weeks ago by a member of church that remains annonymous, and Tim's cousin is supposed to pay him very shortly up front, he's taping her wedding in August. So I am by no means complaining. I just think it is odd how the enemy tries to discourage when you are praying for specific things. To me it just makes me set my jaw tighter, and my resolve more firm. I know that my God will always be victorious in all things, no matter if it is finances, having a baby, or dealing with the every day mundane of my life. I fully know that God will provide for every single need I have. He says so in His word. So I am standing on that and trying not to get too worried about cash flow.
I have to put this here because my friend Jena emailed it to me, and I am hoping this will spur you all to pray for this specific soldier and his wife. Jena worked with me at Sears and was also "let go," unfairly around the same time I was.....anyways, she recieved this email from her husband who is in Iraq on their wedding anniversary........I know it makes this a long post but please read and keep these two in your prayers.........as well as another soldier I know named Greg Stafford who is in the worst part of Bagdhad right now..........

Hello all. I just wanted to pass this note from my husband on to all of you and ask for your continued prayer. This is my wedding anniversary and instead of love notes and flowers I received this. God Bless our troops and please keep praying. Thanks so much.

Jena Cline
Tim Cline wrote:
From: "Tim Cline" To: hcvfd@eastky.net, jena_cline2003@yahoo.com, sandymcguire@setel.com, spankum2002@yahoo.comSubject: Miracle....Really!Date: Wed, 01 Mar 2006 15:24:03 -0500I am unsure if I should tell you guys the story, but I will do so just to emphasize the importance of prayer.During the past week, my squad has been conducting 12+ hour patrols in one of the....more dangerous areas in baghdad. Everything had been pretty normal the last few days. Today was the exception.At 1500 local time our patrol discovered an Iraqi van that had been the victim of a drive-by shooting only a minute before. As I ran to the vehicle I saw that only two of the passengers were moving. Each of the five people in the vehicle had been shot several times. I won't give gory details, but understand that I have never seen anything that bad. I checked the three men who appeared to be dead...the third, although badly injured, still had a pulse. I dragged him from the vehicle and began administering first aid. While i was doing this, the area was chaos from the screams of the two that were alive, the locals, and medics screaming for help.It was just like something from a horror movie. I tried to keep the guy alive, but he was injured to badly. I could only look in his eyes and watch him die. Even though he was an Iraqi, he was one of the good guys. The vehicle he was in had been carrying a casket to the mosque for a funeral. He was part of the clergy.This wasn't the first death I have seen, but it was the first time I ever really watched as the soul departed the body. It was a moving experience.Well, all that was just to set the mood for the real action. After we had loaded the wounded into an ambulance, we pulled security to wait for the Iraqi police to pick up the KIA's. At 1518, as I was standing in the middle of the road. A mortar impacted less than 10 meters in front of me.I don't know how significant this is to you, but realize that when a mortar round impacts, the explosion is first enough pressure to either collapse a lung or cause an aneurysm. After the concussion of the blast, shrapnel will totally mangle anything within 15 meters, kill anything within 25 meters and cause serious wounds over 50 meters away.Once again, I saw this round hit, AND explode 22 feet in front of me on the ground. The blast knocked me back, but I was able to stay on my feet. I froze in the cloud of smoke. I was literally terrified. I had some difficulty seeing and hearing for a few minutes, and I kept looking for missing body parts. But you know what? Not a single scratch. Not a one. I am 100% fine right now. Not a single thing wrong.The funny part now is...and i hope you could imagine, my fellow soldiers reaction. Imagine if you can, that this hostile action had taken place on Hambley blvd in Pikeville. All of my buddies would be at the bottom of the 99 steps and I would be in the middle of the intersection. Then 5 sticks of dynamite explode 22 feet away. Wouldn't that be a strange sight? Well, they know what mortars are...and that if you are anywhere around when they hit, you die. But here I am...unscathed. They are convinced I had God's protection...and I know that's true.Well...I do apologize for both being explicit and long-winded. I appreciate all of your prayers and thoughts. I have perhaps never needed them more than now. Remember us all, we need all of your help. Pass the word, who knows who it might save.All my love,Tim

Every Day is A Winding Road

I hate Sheryl Crow, but the title seemed appropriate. So my nephew is mad cuz I won't help him put my sister's 10 inch high heels on....lol...sorry buddy!!! The things one and a half year olds get into. I am trying to be much more positive today although I have a bit of a headache. I did get a laugh out of going to my pals, Keely and Kendra's blogs. They had some funny stuff on there. I needed a good laugh. These kids I watch make me laugh every day. I don't know how someone could ever look into one of those faces and ever do them harm. I am going to try to work on my book tommorow with the hope that I can re-write the work that was lost in a relatively short time. Starting all over again is very frustrating but at least I know where I want to go with it. That's a plus. But it still stinks that all that material was lost. That was my A-stuff too. I was brilliant!!! LOL!!!
So the older I get the more I see each stage of life as stressful but in a different way. Like there's no way I would go back to high school or college, but oh to not have a ton of bills to pay or responsabilities other than getting good grades...which I didn't that much:( Oh well, that' s because of the stress of living with a psycho roomate who wrote in her journal about wanting to kill me!!!
Wow this post is really boring and highly-uniformative.
I guess I will end.
P.S. In the words of Napoleon Dynamite's brother Kip...."Peace Out."